4

Salam all.

Whenever i chatted with my bf about our future life, in the end we always promised each other that we'll live modestly during early years to save money so that we can go travel wherever we want to. Tak apa la kalau awal2 pun duduk apartment n pakai kereta Saga je. As long as we have more savings.

Mann, talk is cheap.

I know my bf is capable of doing so (berjimat cermat) and live humbly since he rarely spends his money to buy things. Believe me, kalau dia takdak gf skrg ni, rasanya duit dia menimbun dah drp apa yg dia ada skrg. He's so careful with his money. Thats why i trusted him with my money (apart from my mom) since i don't really know how to manage my allowance. I depend on him and always ask for his opinion bila tangan aku gatai nk klik2 online shopping.

So that's why i'm worried. Tambah bila tgk org lain hidup senang, kereta mewah, pakai beg branded or baju cantik2. As a girl i can't help but to feel jealous and secretly want to lead the same life that others do. I've been reminding myself over and over again that saving is important. Umur dah 24, tak lama lagi dh mula earn income sendiri. Masa tu lagilaa kena pandai manage duit sendiri.

Hopefully tercapai la impian kami nk travel merata dunia bersama-sama. Buat masa skrg gigit jari jela dulu sambil scroll gambar org lain pegi holiday kt Instagram.

3

Salam all.

Bulan ni bajet lari. Sebab apa? Sebab makanan.

And make-up.

Yesss. My new obsession. Skrg siap ada bajet each month for make-up. God knows how annoyed my bf was when i begged him to bring this kampung girl to Sunway Pyramid just so that i can bring my butt into Sephora. Lepas tu mcm dh taknak keluar, jakun sgt tgk brg2 mekap mahal kat sana. Some brands tu even x pernah dgr pun nama. I can only afford some NYX lip creams there which i loveeeee. :D

Tapi sebenarnya pegi kelas pakai sunblock and lipstick/lipbalm je. Takdak sapa aku nk impress kt Manipal ni hewhew. Sbb tu guna neutral colors jee.

Selalunya pakai mekap lelebih when i'm on dates. Baru berani pakai lipstick terang2, pastu keep on annoying my bf with Qs like "ok tak warna ni?" "rasa matching tak kaler ni dgn kulit syg?" "lawa tak i hari ni?'' "nampak x bulu mata syg melentik ni? penat tau nk pakai mascara dgn eyeliner!'' hahaha i'll never stop.

I only aim for drugstore make-ups --> Watson and Guardian. Tapi lagi suka Watson sbb ada VIP card hewhew. Ni je yg cek mampu. I'm quite disappointed with local drugstores bcoz their display are not really well-organized. Then byk testers dah habis/rosak tapi diorg x ganti pun. Customers are also to be blamed sbb lepas guna testers ada je manusia yg x reti nak letak kt tempat original dia balik. Habis confuse.

Now everytime i go to malls, I'll go to Watson n try many many lipstick and aim to buy them next month. Oh I wish. haha. This madness will stop after sometime, just like my previous madness with online shopping. ;p

I want to learn some make-up techniques to cover up zits or acne scars on my face. I want to try liquid foundation too since they have more coverage but i don't know which brand is good for me. Takut kalau salah pakai kang habis jadi opera cina or worse, dpt skin break out. Anyways, lots of time to learn :D

2

Salam all.

i know who my real friends are.

i know;
who's two-faced.
who's genuinely happy for me when i'm happy.
who's secretly jealous of my life and not happy when i'm happy.
who's come to me only when they need my help.
who's really care about me.
who's really understand me despite my temper and moodswing
who's a good listener.
who's only listen but not hear.
who's a good secret keeper.

i know, because i'm at least one of the above to my friends too.

i'm a superficial person. what you see on my face, that's what i'm feeling. i tried to fake it once, but my heart cannot accept it. biarlah apa org kata. bukan hati depa yg sakit.

1

Salam all.

Today MQA came to our college to evaluate us from all aspects so that we can have the accreditation we have always wanted sebab kalau tak mcmn kami nak keja kat Malaysia kan.

Anyway, salah satu soalan dia tanya masa closed session dgn students tadi:

''Did your college award you if you get good results like straight A's or something?''

We all answered YESSSSS. ''Gold medalist", they said. Then came the question that i always hate:

"Angkat tangan sapa yg pernah dapat?"

Mannnn. I really don't like this. First, i always feel that i didn't deserved it (there's this one girl in my class who is really smart, she deserves it more). Second, ppl will expect more from me padahal aku ini hanyalah insan biasa. If u see me in my class, u will think i'm a dumb or something. I get very nervous when my lecturers directly throws some questions to me that i become blank. Third, when ppl keep on pointing my name when this matter is brought up.

Bukan tak bersyukur, in fact, i'm happy sebab my parents were over the moon because of this. It's just that the title came with a responsibility for you to maintain your performance. Well, that's the purpose but it has become a burden to me T__T. Adoilaaa. Trying to motivate myself right now. I can do it!

Anyway, i think i'll start to write again. Let's see how long this will last. hehe.

Byebye.

respond

Salam all.

A : I lost something.. (very sad)
B : oh yeah? i lost something too! bla bla blaaaaa..

how do you expect A to react eagerly to B's story when B don't even bother to respond to A's sadness first, what more to offer some comforting words.

nevermind if you can't help to solve the problem, just know that comforting words have powerful value too.

throwback

Salam.

lately kat Instagram ramai yg upload gambar few years back pastu boh hashtag #throwback. saye sesugguhnye agak lembap bab ingat-mengingat kembali ape yg sy dh buat few years back, even last year punya events. just a few of really significant events je yg i truly remember.

so let me try to refresh some memories here.

my biggest regrets of 2012:

- early 2012, i caused my relationship with le bf dilanda ombak badai ranjau onak duri bagai because my heart wavered. it was 100% my fault, but le bf being so kind and forgiving, he forgave me without any condition and told me to learn from my mistakes and forget everything that had happened because he wants to erase that painful phase from his memories. :( this fella loves me so much laaa hihihi i'm truly grateful for that and i swore in front of him that i'll be a good girl and only look at him except those handsome korean guys that i'll never get. he was okay with that bcoz he too was obsessing over SNSD. ;p

- i left Manipal for good around August, and this was when i made a very stupid decision to throw away all my precious hand-written notes for all 4 subjects of second year. T___T i love my notes so much i don't have any idea why i threw them away in the first place sobsssss. i even left my first year's textbooks there. now everytime my lecturers ask us Qs about subjects that we've learnt during pre-clinical years i feel like slapping myself for committing this grave mistake.

sweet moments of 2012 (that i remember):

- i went for a Singapore trip in February with my friends!! seriously, USS was awesome! i want to got there again, but maybe after few years with family or husband. :p harharhar.

- back in Malaysia for good!! :D mak cakap she was really happy, now she can sleep peacefully. poor mak, dahla anak dy ni suka bawak skuter laju2 kat Manipal hehe kalau dy nampak mau gugur jantung.

-getting distinction in all 4 subjects i'm taking. this meant a lot to me, after the disappointment of not getting it during my first year. i thought i wouldn't make it through bcoz my Pharmacology distinction viva sucked big time that i already lose hope but Alhamdullilah, ada lagi rezeki.



hmm..thats all yg mampu ingat for now. the 2 regrets that i mentioned above, i'm still regretting it to this very moment. well, at least i've learn my lesson.

2013 ni dh dispoilkan dgn kemalasan tahap dewa nak study for block 2 exam. tsk tsk.

our past

Salam Hai. 

dah 2013, maksudnya umur bakal jd 23, hidup bakal lagi complicated dgn pelbagai isu. i just read Maria Elena's latest post. it seems she's pouring her heart out in a positive way. all because what ppl hav said to her just bcoz of her past.

everyone has their past. my past is even hmmm taktaulah nk describe mcmn. but it's my life. i feel ashamed about it what more when my family n friends knew about what i've done. i dont know what they've said behind my back. what i did was awful, i was immature at that time. skrg pn still immature but now dah boleh nampak kebodohan zaman lalu. 

everything i did, i feel like ppl are judging me. i know bcoz i judge ppl too. at first i think i must control myself, kalau tak nanti apa org cakap. but then i think it's my life why shud i care what ppl think of me? like they care what i think about them. i want to be myself but i dont even know what is my true self bcoz i live like this long enough since i enter boarding school. i dont really hav a real identity. I myself change with ppl surrounding me.

sometimes when i want to do something, i stopped myself just because of the pain that i hav to go thru while explaining to other ppl later. need to remove all these negativities. i just want a sincere life where i dont have to pretend anymore. i hope this year will be a brighter year to me,and everyone else. i really hope i can be a better person. to be a good daughter, friend and companion. i wish.

Thank You

You are one person to be so thankful of

The foolish person who looks only at me

Even when I turn away, even when I try to hide

Even when I try to pretend I don’t now

One person who is always by my side

Who always held out his hands for me

Who comforted the crying me

You’re a precious person

The person I will take care of

The only person that makes my heart race

Thank you

That one person who is you has come to me

I love you

Your flowing tears, I will cover them all

Let us not let go of our tightly holding hands

I will look only at you, just like now

You are such a beautiful person

The person that sheds tears when he looks only at me

The gift from above

I will protect you

Because as long as I have you, I’m happy

Thank you

That one person who is you has come to me

I love you

Your flowing tears, I will cover them all

Let us not let go of our tightly holding hands

I will look only at you, just like now

Whatever kind of harsh world it is, I will overcome it

As long as you are by my side

Believe in me

My one and only person in this world

I promise you

My once in a lifetime love is only you

I will protect this love of ours filling our hands

I will look only at you, like the first time

I only love you forever

credit : Creating Destiny OST, Thank You

geraham bongsu

Salam hai. saya sedang sengsara kerana kehilangan gigi geraham bongsu saya Jumaat lalu. sengsara sebab sakit, bukan sebab sedih. gigi tu terpaksa cabut sbb cebisan2 makanan tersekat kat situ dan bakteria2 membiak dgn riangnya, memberi saya jangkitan kuman dan menyebabkan pipi saya bengkak besarrrr punya.

masa nak p cabut hati ini agak nebes sbb sebelum ni seumur hidup saya pas baligh (?) saye penah p jumpe dentist 2 kali je tu pun sbb nk buat scaling. ni first time buat invasive procedure (minor surgery) since gigi saya tu terbenam dgn gaya kuak lentang dalam tulang rahang. jadinya kena kopek (?) gusi dulu baru boleh nampak gigi.

masa procedure, mmg tak sakit sbb mulut dh kena bius. tp pressure yg diexert untuk mencungkei gigi tu keluar still takbest dan erghhh tak sukalah. balikbilik happy2 makan aiskrim vanilla stgh jam pastu amek kauuuuuuu sakit gila punya!!! sakit tahap kau takleh nak buat apa2 selain merengek can baby guling2 atas katil  tp takde org nak layan kau. tekap ais kt pipi pun takdak gunanya bagi aku. naseb bek kawan bagi pain killer makan terus 2 biji kepala terus jd high. then tingtong terus.

bangun pagi esok tengok2 semua balik/ p kl tinggai 3 org je bdk bds kat hostel. sedih sedih. mngadu kat bf kata sunyi dan sedih lalu dy offer nk teman. horrayyy! p kl, tp xleh nak mkn sgt since mulut takleh bukak luas2. semua mknn kene dipotong/dicarik kecik2 so that boleh terus telan. terseksaaaa. nak nguap or gelak paling sakit. sobs

sampai skrg mulut still xleh bukak luas2. dh mula risau. efek numbness kat lidah pn still terasa lagi. nk mkn roti terpaksa sumbat through the small opening of my mouth then telan. erghhh so scared, tolongla cepat sembuh. i promise to diligently taking my medicine. T____T

no spirit to face this week.

Bite Raising Appliance

adakah anda mempunyai tabiat 'teeth grinding' semasa tido sampai jiran bilik sebelah anda pun boleh dengar? jika ya, kami ada penyelesaiannya! *bangga* datanglah keklinik kami dan kami akan membagi anda seketoi benda bernama ''Bite Raising Appliance''. harap maaf taktau apa nama sebenar benda ni dalam bahasa ibunda. 

baiklah, biar saya terangkan apakah motip kami bagi benda ini. Perangai teeth grinding (melaga-lagakan gigi atas dgn gigi bawah) time tidoq adalah sungguh berbahaya sebabnya nanti gigi anda akan menjadi attrited (ala2 terhakis? arghh so hard to explain in BM) dan ini akan menjadikan gigi anda hilang nilai estetika dan menjadi lebih sensitip kpd makanan panas/sejuk atau pedas. 

jadinya benda ini akan dipakai antara gigi atas dan bawah anda semasa anda tido untuk mengelakkan mereka bertemu (?) pada tengah2 malam buta supaya perkara yg tidak elok dpt dihindarkan. makanya gigi-gigi anda akan terselamat! hooraah!

mengambil impression (impresi?) untuk gigi atas partner saya dgn menggunakan tray (dulang?) khas mengikut saiz jaw (rahang?). Kami pakai sejenis benda bernama Alginate ya untuk membuat impresion ini.

okay posing sebentar bersama rakan sekelas sambil tggu Alginate itu set menjadi keras.

ini dia impression gigi bawah.

ini pula impression gigi atas bersama lelangit sekali.

gambar di atas gambar groupmates saya sedang menuang dental stone powder (kaler hijau) untuk membuat cast. kemudian kita guna Plaster of Paris (kaler putih, NOT made in Paris btw) untuk membuat base cast tadi. nampak mcm tgh buat kek pun ada. 

tadaaa, lepas set base tadi kini saya sudah mendapat the exact replica of my partner's oral cavity :)

next step takde gambar, which kami adapt beberapa kepingan lilin pink khas ke atas cast hijau tu untuk merekod bentuk2 gigi atas sahaja.

 kemudian, masukkan balik kepingan lilin pink tadi (panaskan sikit dulu utk lmbutkan lilin) ke dalam mulut patient (this pic is during my partner's turn to do on me) dan patient kena gigit lilin td (jgn risau, tak beracun pun) untuk rekod bentuk2 gigi bawah pulak.

now adjust2 balik kepingan lilin tu atas cast kita td, make sure semua bentuk gigi fit.

tadaaaa! sudah siap replika Bite Raising Appliance (BRA) kami! :D see how it protects your teeth! nanti kami kena buat a few more steps to produce the true BRA, which i won't be explaining cause it's a bit complicated. 

so after this if u guys overheard us dental students saying BRA here, BRA there, pls bear in mind that we're talking about this thing, not those breast supporter heheheee ;p

************

staying far from home sucks. but it'll be less sucky when u have a car. :D 

anyway, exam week was over, but block 2 will commence on Monday *yawn* .i think the exam was okay except that the time was not sufficient for SAQ (short answer Qs) so my hand was all shaky while writing the long answers in a strongly air-conditioned room. that explained my super hideous handwriting. nyeh3. 

bye! salam.