throwback

Salam.

lately kat Instagram ramai yg upload gambar few years back pastu boh hashtag #throwback. saye sesugguhnye agak lembap bab ingat-mengingat kembali ape yg sy dh buat few years back, even last year punya events. just a few of really significant events je yg i truly remember.

so let me try to refresh some memories here.

my biggest regrets of 2012:

- early 2012, i caused my relationship with le bf dilanda ombak badai ranjau onak duri bagai because my heart wavered. it was 100% my fault, but le bf being so kind and forgiving, he forgave me without any condition and told me to learn from my mistakes and forget everything that had happened because he wants to erase that painful phase from his memories. :( this fella loves me so much laaa hihihi i'm truly grateful for that and i swore in front of him that i'll be a good girl and only look at him except those handsome korean guys that i'll never get. he was okay with that bcoz he too was obsessing over SNSD. ;p

- i left Manipal for good around August, and this was when i made a very stupid decision to throw away all my precious hand-written notes for all 4 subjects of second year. T___T i love my notes so much i don't have any idea why i threw them away in the first place sobsssss. i even left my first year's textbooks there. now everytime my lecturers ask us Qs about subjects that we've learnt during pre-clinical years i feel like slapping myself for committing this grave mistake.

sweet moments of 2012 (that i remember):

- i went for a Singapore trip in February with my friends!! seriously, USS was awesome! i want to got there again, but maybe after few years with family or husband. :p harharhar.

- back in Malaysia for good!! :D mak cakap she was really happy, now she can sleep peacefully. poor mak, dahla anak dy ni suka bawak skuter laju2 kat Manipal hehe kalau dy nampak mau gugur jantung.

-getting distinction in all 4 subjects i'm taking. this meant a lot to me, after the disappointment of not getting it during my first year. i thought i wouldn't make it through bcoz my Pharmacology distinction viva sucked big time that i already lose hope but Alhamdullilah, ada lagi rezeki.



hmm..thats all yg mampu ingat for now. the 2 regrets that i mentioned above, i'm still regretting it to this very moment. well, at least i've learn my lesson.

2013 ni dh dispoilkan dgn kemalasan tahap dewa nak study for block 2 exam. tsk tsk.

our past

Salam Hai. 

dah 2013, maksudnya umur bakal jd 23, hidup bakal lagi complicated dgn pelbagai isu. i just read Maria Elena's latest post. it seems she's pouring her heart out in a positive way. all because what ppl hav said to her just bcoz of her past.

everyone has their past. my past is even hmmm taktaulah nk describe mcmn. but it's my life. i feel ashamed about it what more when my family n friends knew about what i've done. i dont know what they've said behind my back. what i did was awful, i was immature at that time. skrg pn still immature but now dah boleh nampak kebodohan zaman lalu. 

everything i did, i feel like ppl are judging me. i know bcoz i judge ppl too. at first i think i must control myself, kalau tak nanti apa org cakap. but then i think it's my life why shud i care what ppl think of me? like they care what i think about them. i want to be myself but i dont even know what is my true self bcoz i live like this long enough since i enter boarding school. i dont really hav a real identity. I myself change with ppl surrounding me.

sometimes when i want to do something, i stopped myself just because of the pain that i hav to go thru while explaining to other ppl later. need to remove all these negativities. i just want a sincere life where i dont have to pretend anymore. i hope this year will be a brighter year to me,and everyone else. i really hope i can be a better person. to be a good daughter, friend and companion. i wish.

Thank You

You are one person to be so thankful of

The foolish person who looks only at me

Even when I turn away, even when I try to hide

Even when I try to pretend I don’t now

One person who is always by my side

Who always held out his hands for me

Who comforted the crying me

You’re a precious person

The person I will take care of

The only person that makes my heart race

Thank you

That one person who is you has come to me

I love you

Your flowing tears, I will cover them all

Let us not let go of our tightly holding hands

I will look only at you, just like now

You are such a beautiful person

The person that sheds tears when he looks only at me

The gift from above

I will protect you

Because as long as I have you, I’m happy

Thank you

That one person who is you has come to me

I love you

Your flowing tears, I will cover them all

Let us not let go of our tightly holding hands

I will look only at you, just like now

Whatever kind of harsh world it is, I will overcome it

As long as you are by my side

Believe in me

My one and only person in this world

I promise you

My once in a lifetime love is only you

I will protect this love of ours filling our hands

I will look only at you, like the first time

I only love you forever

credit : Creating Destiny OST, Thank You

geraham bongsu

Salam hai. saya sedang sengsara kerana kehilangan gigi geraham bongsu saya Jumaat lalu. sengsara sebab sakit, bukan sebab sedih. gigi tu terpaksa cabut sbb cebisan2 makanan tersekat kat situ dan bakteria2 membiak dgn riangnya, memberi saya jangkitan kuman dan menyebabkan pipi saya bengkak besarrrr punya.

masa nak p cabut hati ini agak nebes sbb sebelum ni seumur hidup saya pas baligh (?) saye penah p jumpe dentist 2 kali je tu pun sbb nk buat scaling. ni first time buat invasive procedure (minor surgery) since gigi saya tu terbenam dgn gaya kuak lentang dalam tulang rahang. jadinya kena kopek (?) gusi dulu baru boleh nampak gigi.

masa procedure, mmg tak sakit sbb mulut dh kena bius. tp pressure yg diexert untuk mencungkei gigi tu keluar still takbest dan erghhh tak sukalah. balikbilik happy2 makan aiskrim vanilla stgh jam pastu amek kauuuuuuu sakit gila punya!!! sakit tahap kau takleh nak buat apa2 selain merengek can baby guling2 atas katil  tp takde org nak layan kau. tekap ais kt pipi pun takdak gunanya bagi aku. naseb bek kawan bagi pain killer makan terus 2 biji kepala terus jd high. then tingtong terus.

bangun pagi esok tengok2 semua balik/ p kl tinggai 3 org je bdk bds kat hostel. sedih sedih. mngadu kat bf kata sunyi dan sedih lalu dy offer nk teman. horrayyy! p kl, tp xleh nak mkn sgt since mulut takleh bukak luas2. semua mknn kene dipotong/dicarik kecik2 so that boleh terus telan. terseksaaaa. nak nguap or gelak paling sakit. sobs

sampai skrg mulut still xleh bukak luas2. dh mula risau. efek numbness kat lidah pn still terasa lagi. nk mkn roti terpaksa sumbat through the small opening of my mouth then telan. erghhh so scared, tolongla cepat sembuh. i promise to diligently taking my medicine. T____T

no spirit to face this week.

Bite Raising Appliance

adakah anda mempunyai tabiat 'teeth grinding' semasa tido sampai jiran bilik sebelah anda pun boleh dengar? jika ya, kami ada penyelesaiannya! *bangga* datanglah keklinik kami dan kami akan membagi anda seketoi benda bernama ''Bite Raising Appliance''. harap maaf taktau apa nama sebenar benda ni dalam bahasa ibunda. 

baiklah, biar saya terangkan apakah motip kami bagi benda ini. Perangai teeth grinding (melaga-lagakan gigi atas dgn gigi bawah) time tidoq adalah sungguh berbahaya sebabnya nanti gigi anda akan menjadi attrited (ala2 terhakis? arghh so hard to explain in BM) dan ini akan menjadikan gigi anda hilang nilai estetika dan menjadi lebih sensitip kpd makanan panas/sejuk atau pedas. 

jadinya benda ini akan dipakai antara gigi atas dan bawah anda semasa anda tido untuk mengelakkan mereka bertemu (?) pada tengah2 malam buta supaya perkara yg tidak elok dpt dihindarkan. makanya gigi-gigi anda akan terselamat! hooraah!

mengambil impression (impresi?) untuk gigi atas partner saya dgn menggunakan tray (dulang?) khas mengikut saiz jaw (rahang?). Kami pakai sejenis benda bernama Alginate ya untuk membuat impresion ini.

okay posing sebentar bersama rakan sekelas sambil tggu Alginate itu set menjadi keras.

ini dia impression gigi bawah.

ini pula impression gigi atas bersama lelangit sekali.

gambar di atas gambar groupmates saya sedang menuang dental stone powder (kaler hijau) untuk membuat cast. kemudian kita guna Plaster of Paris (kaler putih, NOT made in Paris btw) untuk membuat base cast tadi. nampak mcm tgh buat kek pun ada. 

tadaaa, lepas set base tadi kini saya sudah mendapat the exact replica of my partner's oral cavity :)

next step takde gambar, which kami adapt beberapa kepingan lilin pink khas ke atas cast hijau tu untuk merekod bentuk2 gigi atas sahaja.

 kemudian, masukkan balik kepingan lilin pink tadi (panaskan sikit dulu utk lmbutkan lilin) ke dalam mulut patient (this pic is during my partner's turn to do on me) dan patient kena gigit lilin td (jgn risau, tak beracun pun) untuk rekod bentuk2 gigi bawah pulak.

now adjust2 balik kepingan lilin tu atas cast kita td, make sure semua bentuk gigi fit.

tadaaaa! sudah siap replika Bite Raising Appliance (BRA) kami! :D see how it protects your teeth! nanti kami kena buat a few more steps to produce the true BRA, which i won't be explaining cause it's a bit complicated. 

so after this if u guys overheard us dental students saying BRA here, BRA there, pls bear in mind that we're talking about this thing, not those breast supporter heheheee ;p

************

staying far from home sucks. but it'll be less sucky when u have a car. :D 

anyway, exam week was over, but block 2 will commence on Monday *yawn* .i think the exam was okay except that the time was not sufficient for SAQ (short answer Qs) so my hand was all shaky while writing the long answers in a strongly air-conditioned room. that explained my super hideous handwriting. nyeh3. 

bye! salam.

a week from now

so a week from now is my first block exam in third year. so not ready, i still feel lost on what i've been learning for the past 2 and a half months.

seems like i am lacking passion while pursuing dentistry. 2 tahun kat India masih tak mampu untuk buat saye betul2 minat dentistry. yes it was fun but  saye still pandang my homeworks/assignments/lab works as burdens. not something enjoyable. maybe stress mengaburi segalanya. masa buat rasa syok tp bila ade keje lebih mulela rase tak best.

u know i really envy my bf. eventho he started late, but finally he found something he really loves (which is math boooooo nerd!) and he really enjoyed semua assignments dy despite they were stressful. this fella is willing to not to go back during long holiday to study. gila nerd baqheang! tapi saye? rasenye complaint je yg asek keluar drp mulut saye yg ade chronic gingivitis ni T__T

ahh mesti rajenkan diri p daftar diri utk p treatment scaling ngan senior. letih tengok asek berdarah gusi time berus gigi.

anyway, sekarang tgh cuba menanam passion utk dentistry. sy berusaha keras untuk tidak mementingkan tido drp lab prostho T__T tapi aritu dh fail sedap aku bantai tido sampai kui 6. hadoiii. acano kalau dh start keje nanti oii. risau aku risauuuu~

btw exam kat sini takde gap n petang still ade kelas / postings cam besa. huwauuu haruslah membiasakan diri. takleh dh nk study last minute berjaga sepnjg malam sobs

salam.

First posting

Salam semua! sekarang tgh Prosthodontics posting yg boleh tahan best tapi cuak sbb sabtu ni ada test impression making. nanti kite cerita lain pasal tu wokey. right now nk cerita pasal my first posting, Periodontics.

Sebenarnya sebelum ni tak penah tau Periodontology tu pasai apa. tak berminat pun nak amek tau. paling sedih, taktau pun wujudnya cabang dentistry yg ni. really need to gear up my passion for dentistry, dah third year dah weh! so bile dtg first posting, lecturer tanya ''what do u know about Perio?" so aku pun nganga mulut masuk lalat. bila groupmate tlg jawapkan aku pun angguk2 kepala penuh taksub dlm hati ckp ''wah hebatnyew kome semua boleh jawab!''

Basically Periodontics ni pasal everything related to supporting structures of our teeth. macam gingiva (gusi), periodontal ligament, cementum and alveolar bone. sorrryyy taktau semua term ni apa maksud dy dlm BM tp basically di sekeliling setiap gigi anda ade 4 benda ni lah.

Lecturer untuk Perio ni ade 2 org, husband and wife. tapi tak penah lg nampak diorg bermesra-mesraan depan kami time posting. maintain professional kot. hihi dua2 pn muda lagi, yg wife dy punyalah cantik aku suka tgk kasut2 dy hehe. Dua2 pun best, tak penah marah bila aku buat silap or tanya soalan yg mcm tak logik bila aku pikir balik.

Kitorg mula dgn hand-scaling atas set gigi tipu, then ultrasonic-scaling, periodontal charting, mcm2 test untuk check gusi and last sekali treatment plan and management. Part charting tu sgtla remeh procedure dy pastu macam forever nak check seketoi2 gigi tapi nanti ade exam kene buat semua ni dlm masa 45 minit T___T

benda2 kuning melekat kat gigi tu kononnya mcm calculus la (plaque keraih kaler kuning) tp sebenarnya sejenis lilin. so kami kena kerah tenaga mengikis semua lilin2 yg keras tu guna scaler yg ada.

my beautiful partner, Annishka :)

cakk! ahjumma style!

 topi ahjumma tu sbg protection so that hangpa punya airliuq or cebisan2 calculus tak terpelanting and landing cantik atas muke kami.

perasan tak something wrong dlm gambo ni? aku lupa pakai GLOVES! kalo lecturer nampak musti kena berdas-das tembakan.

 instruments required for periodontal charting.

future dentist yg bajet ade assistant. it's so hard to find the correct position to visualize the oral cavity of the patient, and at the same time tak buat aku dapat osteoporosis di usia muda remaja.

tadaaa! tapi jgn takut, aku bukan guna benda tajam tu utk masukkan kat dalam gingival sulcus untuk cek bleeding on probing. kami guna alat yg tumpui nama periodontal probe. 

masa nak buat yg ni, hatiku gundah gulana sebab rase tak smpai hati nk p tonyoh probe tu masuk gusi org sbb akan rasa sakit sikit uhuuu cmna tah nk buat kat patient nanti. 

no more akka to clean up for us T__T 

nanti akan pusing balik turn posting, by that time akan dpt patient betoi time Perio posting and kena buat scaling on them. excited but nervous!

thats all for now adiossss~

October girl

dalam kelas saye sekarang ade dua org je pompuan Melayu yg celebrate besday bulan October ni. Myra dan saye. Myra ni bestfren saye since second sem kat KMS, mula baik ngan dy sebab dy selalu ngendeng *ehem* dok sebelah saye dan kami bersama-sama mengambil risiko berani mati utk duduk row depan sekali utk hampir semua kelas yg ada.

bila saya ngantuk, dy cuit saya. bila dy ngantuk, saya cuit dy. symbiosis hubungan sihat katakan. kadang2 dua sedap melentok kat depan tu, tapi Ciko yg kantoi. eheee. 

kalau kat dunia ni ada award manusia yg paling byk bersabar dan bertahan dgn perangai FanaRosli kategori perempuan (since kategori lelaki of cosla bf aku dh rembat) , pemenangnya tak lain tak bukan si Myra ni lah. sebab tula rasa bersyukur sgt ada kawan cam dy :) me laps u so much Myroo! :D

 zmn dah cabut braces

 zaman innocent ada braces hehe

eh ah eh ahhhh eh ah eh ahhhhh

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY MYRA AZMI!!

smooches~

Trrr tr tr

Just testing whether this app is still rocking my phone or not.

Happy Monday and Happy Holiday everyone!

jealous

salam semua! cuti memang best, tapi cuti lama tanpa sebarang kerja yg perlu dibuat jadi amatla boring. nak cuba masak macam2 kononnya tp malas nak p Giant beli barang jadinya telan air liur jela tengok gambo2 kat blog resipi.

anyhoo, kadang2 bila bersembang ngan orang, akan ada di kalangan kite yg melawan arus. tapi kalau takde golongan mcm ni nanti boring pulak ye dop. perangai aku yg aku tgh cuba baiki skrg ni, jgn menyampuk cakap org (masih berusaha) & cuba menjadi ikhlas bila bercakap & sedaya upaya menyenangkan hati orang (masih mencuba).

contoh 1

A : cantik kan baju si M ni, aku suka laa. mana ek dia beli?
B : cantik memang cantik, tapi kaler dy cam pelik sikitla, dy pakai tudung pun tak masuk ngan kaler baju tu.

-- perkataan 'tapi' tu tak sedap didengar, kadang2 org cakap 'tapi' ni sbb jeles, so dy nk sedapkan hati sendiri yg baju tu tak cantik mana padahal kalau baju tu ada jual kat tempat dy, dy la org pertama yg akan p beli. benda ni aku selalu buat, betapa teruknye perangai bila jeles kat orang. T_T Perkataan 'tapi' ni sebenanya bagus untuk menengok sesuatu isu drp perspektif berbeza tapi yg aku experience lg byk ke arah negatifla.

contoh 2

A : sweet gila bf si T tu boh gamba T jd wallpaper phone dy.
B : kalo bf aku tak boh gamba aku jd wallpaper, kirenye bf aku tak sweetla? kirenye bf T tu tak syg parents la sbb tak boh gamba parents jd wallpaper?

-- reply mcmni kadang2 org cakap untuk gurauan, tapi kalau T dengar, mesti T sentap. taktaula apa yg cuba ditegakkan kalau kita mereply mcmtu. apa salahnya kalau kite tumpang happy takpun diam jela kot ye pun jeles.

contoh 3

A : wah, beli baju baru.. bape ko beli baju ni weh?
B : adela dlm 40 ringgit kot..aku pun tak ingat
C : ala kau beli 38 ringgit kan, kat kedai XX kan? mane ade sampai 40 ringgit pun..

-- kalau terkena mcmni, hanya mampu bersabar dalam hati. lagipun C cakap benda betul, cuma nada tu tak best didengar.



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banyak lagila contoh yg kite selalu dengar dlm perbualan seharian dgn org sekeliling kite. contoh2 kat atas, semua aku penah kena/buat so aku tau la macamana rasanya. tapi takleh nak buat apa, aku pun cakap2 kat belakang orang jugak. manusia mane penah puas hati kan. aku selaku org yg byk bergosip, mesti org pun akan mengata kt belakang aku, it's expected. tak penah kisah pun, asalkan aku taktau mcmn manusia mengata aku. bila tau, tu yg perit tu.

aku rasa Twitter dh racun pemikiran aku untuk menjudge orang berdasarkan tweet2 mereka. ade golongan yg tweet lain, tapi dlm dunia realiti lain pulak perangainye. aku ni termasuk golongan yg tweet merapu, aku tweet ape yg aku nak makan, aku lapar, aku ngantuk. aku takleh tido dsb. jarang sangat aku tweet benda2 berfaedah atau kata2 mutiara bagi pedoman hidup kat orang lain apa semua tu. sbb tu aku bersyukur ade kawan2 yg excellent dlm wordplay dlm mengajak ke arah kebaikan kat Twitter.

salah aku jugak mengexpect someone to live up to his/her own tweet. sbb Twitter, manusia yg aku berasa normal sebelum ni, tiba2 aku rase kurang sng ngan dy sebab tweet2 dy. cehh nak salahkan Twitter pulak padahal hati aku yg problem takleh nk terima org seadanya. wokey kita cuba kita cuba buka hati, buka minda. nak tutup acc, tapi banyak info kt situ. adohai. lagipun kalo bosan twitter la tempat aku nak tweet btau semua orang aku bosan hehe. facebook memang takleh harap. takdak privacy dah kat situ.

anyway, manusia yg selalu tweet kata 'kalau tak suka unfollow jelahh. ni twitter aku'. mmg la aku boleh je nk unfollow anda, tapi aku malas nk berdepan dgn situasi awkward yg akan mendatang selepas itu bile anda tau saye unfollow anda walopun anda kate anda tak kisah kononnya. haiszz.

panjang pulak membebel. bahasa tonggang langgang pulak tu even mak aku cikgu Sastera. mihmih. just nak luahkan perasaan yg tak terluah kat sapa2 or Twitter. bye. Salam.