Thursday, January 26, 2012

schedule


28 Jan - pathology
29 Jan - AJL 26 sobs takleh nak live streaming tgk lagu beribu sesalan ngan aizat ngan faizal tahir
30 Jan - microbiology
1 feb - pharmacology
2 feb - birthday victoria f(x) my forever bias
3 feb - dental materials
4 feb - packing barang nak balik n shopping segala mak nenek barang org pesan.
5 feb - train ke Kochin
6 feb - insyaAllah sampai Malaysia terchenta ewah!


may Allah ease our journey. amin.

smooches~

Saturday, January 14, 2012

my heart


tengok balik post lepas, humangaihh emonya parihana! itu masa perasaan hati tak dapat ditahan-tahan dan takde tempat nak meluahkan perasaan. rasa tak sanggup nak bebankan orang lain dgn masalah peribadi yg parihana cari pasal. so boleh cerita kat orang lain a lil bit here and there only. full story, only parihana knows.

perasaan manusia senang berubah, susah diramal. ada satu fasa tiba2 rasa benci dgn semua orang, even bestfriend terkena tempias padahal tak salah apa2 pun. dah cuba tahan diri, tahan perasaan tapi susah. sebabnya takut kalau pendam jadi lagi teruk. senang cerita, tak payah cakap dgn orang dan duduk dlm bilik diam2. tak pun lari pusing endpoint banyak2 kali. bila mengah otak tak mampu nak fikir soal hati perasaan ni.

nak cepat2 tinggalkan fasa ni tapi so far parihana selesa begini which is worse sebab parihana menyeksa orang lain. i'm being selfish for my own comfort. tapi parihana fikir, 'sapa yg nak sayang diri aku kalau bukan aku sendiri', 'kenapa nak lebihkan fikir psl perasaan org lain?' jadinya parihana telah menjadi sungguh mementingkan diri dan meninggalkan seseorang terkapai-kapai mencari jawapan.

tipu kalau kata tak rasa bersalah. rasa bersalah tahap mega tahu sebabnya parihana sendiri penah rasa situasi digantung tak bertali. very agonizing tapi pegi buat jugak kat orang tu. orang tu sungguh sabar menunggu parihana berlalu drp fasa mengong ini. terharu jugakla tapi hati masih keras, masih mahu bebas.

sungguh, kalaulah hati manusia yg sedang kecamuk boleh diatur, disusun balik elok2 macam susun buku kat rak library, alangkah mudahnya. dah banyak kali cuba tenangkan diri, cari mana jln penyelesaian, tapi so far masih buntu. jd parihana jd pengecut, lari drp situasi. menyibukkan diri dgn macam2 hal sbb nak lupakan masalah. tapi smpai bila harus mcmni.... =(

kepada orang tu, terima kasih kerana masih menunggu, menanti dgn penuh sabar. i'll come back to you. sekarang parihana hanya mau hidup dgn gembira and enjoy apa yg ada dlm hidupnya.

smooches~

Sunday, January 8, 2012

knowing


i don't know what is right for me anymore. everything seems blur, undecided. my feelings have gone haywired. i can't seem to focus. my heart can't take it anymore. i need confirmation. i want my comfort zone back. this is so tiring. i don't want to live like this. i want to be ignorant as i successfully did before. why human feelings are so complicated? can't u just say what u wanna say instead of hanging me like this. why do you put ego ahead of everything. i'm seriously tired. being unable to say my heart out make it worse. i give up.

Monday, January 2, 2012

2011


2011 was a good year, filled with many first-time moments which gave me the chance to explore whatever that were more to life other than studying.


awesome year kicked off with our 2-weeks India trip in February! err January bosan, penuh dgn class tests and block exam.


dream came true. Taj Mahal right in front of my eyes.


paragliding for the first time. didn't have the gut to try it during our Langkawi trip.


again, dream came true nak main salji.


skiing =) walaupun just ski sikit2 je kat bahagian bawah bukit.


MSP presentation. the preparation period was hellish but all the hardwork paid off. ^_^

in July, we had our first university examination. that was the toughest 3 weeks of 2011 for me. the accumulated stress was unbearable. i'm really grateful i managed to pass the agonizing period without killing somebody. harhar.


back in Malaysia on August, reunion with my beloved kapaxians.

Aidilfitri 2011 with family. tak merasa la nak raya di perantauan.


raya trip with KMS peeps and reunion with Mcdee!


21st birthday, celebrated it with my awesome friends ^_^


started to work like a real dentist during conservative dentistry practicals. gloves, mouth mask, goggle are mandatory and sgtla merimaskan.


Kapu beach with usrahmate.


one of my happiest moment ^_^



i love my 2011. hopefully 2012 will be better.

smooches~