confuse itu bagus ye

now im officially 19, i clearly know what i want and what i despise in my life. life in bainun and mrsm were full of hypocrisy and bluffs. so im hoping to get to know the real me in this current life. i want to be myself, shaped by my own feelings and not being manipulated by anybody.

im not perfect. nobody's perfect btw. but now i seem to be confused with what we called as friends. up until now, there are very few ppl who i can called my true friends and who are really there when i need them. and who doesnt break my heart with their attitudes. for me, friends are the second most important person in my life, after my family. so i really care about them.

but in the same time, i have this stupid ground that im sticking to. and because i want to be myself, because i want to be firm on my ground, i've been hurting lots of ppl around me. but still, i couldnt care less because im tired of living in a hypocrite world. i really2 want to be me. how i wish someone would understand me more than i understand myself.

sometimes i know what i've done will cause ppl to hate me, but i couldnt help it. yes the world doesnt revolve around me but i have my right to choose my own road and how i want to colour it up.

i hate this uncertainty feeling, and i want my true friends back. the one that i can truly rely upon, and she can rely fully upon me too. shit la this feeling.

btw, now tgh mcm orang gila nak siapkan EE. sobs.

oh tajuk entri adalah tribute to que haidar. confuse itu mcm bawang.

smooches~